Have you ever wondered why some people transform their lives regardless of their life experiences and others dwell in the past, unable to heal from their pain? I have spent my lifetime pondering this question. I chose to heal my wounds and use the pain as a catalyst for transformation. I know we all can.

Personally, I am a survivor. I have learned most things in life the really hard way. My childhood was nothing less than a Lifetime movie but more rated-R! I saw drug use, sadness, depression, poverty, anger and violence. Yet, I knew that I had to transcend that way of life. I knew it wasn’t for me. I had to learn fast.

Amazingly, you can have two people with similar life circumstance and their paths will be very different. The truth is that we are all incredibly unique and we have our own individual paths to walk. We have life lessons we must learn to grow and fulfill our purpose. Yet, I am often asked how do we transcend and transform our own wounds from pain to gain?

  1. Appreciate what you have been through! You must first begin to appreciate your own unique person. There is no one like you on the planet and you are here for your very own life lessons. Believe it or not, you have a purpose and all you went through can lead you to that purpose.

Many of us today have lost this connection to ourselves in our overly connected and complicated daily lives. I challenge you to write out everything on a time-line that you have “gotten through” in a journal. Show yourself proof of your own strength. Take a moment to inventory all you learned from that difficulty.

  1. Slow down and enjoy your life. Get OUT of survival mode! If you’ve experienced difficulty in life you know how to survive and anytime we are under stress we can easily go back to that place. In our overwhelmingly busy daily lives, we have lost ourselves. We work insane hours and then come home to care for our families, pets, or other people.

We have to find a way to get our balance back. As you may have noticed many of us feel a void in our life. We may not be able to name this void but I am positive you can name how you fill it. Instead of food or booze or whatever it is, fill it with joy. Do something kind for yourself. Take care of your mind, body, and spirit. You will be stronger for it! You will have more to give.

  1. Cultivate self-confidence. When we feel like we have been through the ringer in life, we forget our OWN power! We forget that we did survive the ordeal and begin to cling on to something outside of us to make us feel better, stronger, or more confident. I have done this with success I have seen my clients do this in many other ways. Strong people never feel like a victim or wait to be saved!

Ask yourself: Do you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to feel happy? Are you positive that you will be fulfilled once you find that great career or make more money?  Do you need a lot of “likes” on Facebook to feel good? There are many ways in which we “fill” ourselves up, and typically they are just covering up the way we really feel, which is like we are not quite good enough.

What are you really good at? What are your gifts to the world? You have to learn to be your own cheerleader. Not in an egotistical way, just begin to believe that you are valuable and that you have something to give the world just by being you. Believe in your ability to move past the difficulty and learn from it.

I share this with you today because my mother passed suddenly 12 days ago. She suffered from low self-esteem and addiction most of her life. She was a strong woman but had a hard time getting out of her own way. She always told me that her kids were the best things she ever did in her life.

I am eternally grateful to her for showing me how to survive anything and I vow to help other people live better and feel stronger each day I am on this planet. Thanks to my Mom and my Sister, who also passed about 2 years ago, I avoided addiction and I know I can get through anything. I know you can too.

I challenge you to see your challenges in life as gifts and allow them to bolster your confidence! That which you have survived can help you thrive!

If you liked this post, please feel free to share it or like it with someone who may need to hear this message today. Be the light for others.

Love and light to you always,


This post is dedicated to my Mother: Vicki Ann 04/25/53 – 09/12/2014