Oh St. Valentine…how I love thee? Well, if you don’t feel that way check in and see if you are truly getting the love you deserve! Sometimes, we hold on to the wrong person for too long. While we may have a “connection” with them, there has to be more. Does your lover stack up? Read on and find out.

1. You are loved for just being you. You feel appreciated and accepted for exactly who you are. You can be yourself. You can show your not so “pretty” parts to this person and not feel judged or be put down. If you feel you have to be someone else to get their love, you deserve better.

2. Your partner makes you feel good. Your partner acknowledges your greatness. They tell you that you look nice or did a great job on something. They console you when you don’t feel great or failed miserably. At the end of the day, you know you can count on this person to lift you up. In a world where we get kicked down, this is important.

3. Your partner wants you to achieve your dreams. Your partner wants you to reach for your dreams and does not feel threatened by them. They seek ways to support you in doing the work so you can! I feel we know our soul-mate by the person we become with them. True love will never hold you back from reaching for your dreams or achieving your goals.

4. Things flow pretty easily. Yes, relationships take work. But not right away. At first relationships feel easy and fun. As you grow and get to know one another you have to work to keep that connection. If a new relationship is too hard, it may just be something you let go of. In my 12 year relationship I can say the first five years were easy. Fighting and pushing to make it work isn’t always necessary.

5. You agree on the big stuff. To make a relationship last, it’s nice to have the big stuff in common. If you don’t agree on anything it just breeds more difficulty. It’s good to have a similar life plan, agree on finances, and what you need in a relationship. I’m not to saying to go find your clone because that would be boring! Find someone that has a similar vision as you so you can grow together.

6. Your partner honors their word. You partner “shows-up” for you when needed! They don’t just say they will do stuff, they actually do it. They want to know what makes you happy. They will also have conversations with you about what is not working and be willing to change behaviors. This goes both ways, but if you have found someone unwilling to do any work it may be time to reconsider.

7. Your partner is unattached. Sorry ladies and gentleman…your partner needs to be free to be with you. I hear about a lot of relationships where one person is still married or living with another person. It can work for a while but at some point they have to be available to you. Set a time limit and if they do not break off the other relationship they are not willing to be with you. Let them go.

If your partner makes the cut…congrats! You have a great chance at a deep and lasting love. If your partner does not seem to measure up, be honest with yourself. See if you can do some work together to change it. If not, at least you are both now free to find someone who will give you what you deserve!

What are your secrets to a lasting love?