Why do we want to be perfect? I guess we just want to do things the “right” way. But wait, who says it is the right way? What if you’re wrong? And the spiraling begins.

As a recovering perfectionist, it is a hard habit to break! I hear this from my clients too. We want things to go a certain way. Then we end up controlling and worrying about everything! I wanted to share a few things that helped me go into recovery. Not to say I never relapse, but at least I know where to start.

  1. Why Perfection? Take a minute to explore why you need to be perfect. Is it to please someone? Do you feel that you will not be good enough unless all is perfect? Find your trigger and you will better understand why you suffer. Sometimes, it started with our parents. We only felt loved when we were perfect. I loved to be perfect because I wanted to achieve success and I thought that couldn’t exist unless I was perfect. Well, I was wrong. It just stressed me more. Lesson learned.
  2. Release Control. Perfection is a form of control. However, this type of control stops the miracles from happening. If you keep trying to make certain outcomes, the “right” things may never come into your life. If something is not working out, let it go! I know that sounds hard but I promise you when you are on the right path, things will flow. Let go, and let God.
  3. Change your Thoughts! Watch your thoughts, they are creative. You will hear that little nagging voice pop up telling you what you need to do. Well, tell it to shut up. You are exactly where you need to be. Once you begin thinking differently you will begin acting differently. A great affirmation is “I am perfectly imperfect. I love myself just the way I am”. Thanks Louise Hay.
  4. Perfect Stops Action! How many times have you not done something because you would not be good at it or it would not be perfect? It’s better to live and experience life than to stay in your “perfect” box. I like to think of it like this: the 15 minutes of cleaning my closet I actually do is better than the 150 minutes I never do to get it right! Do just enough. Just keep moving.
  5. Be a Little Messy! Yes, I know it sounds crazy. But you will not change until your behavior shifts too. Practice being messy somewhere in life. Maybe you leave some crappy chore undone or you don’t stress yourself out over looking perfect for a party. You just go with what’s good enough. Let the mess sit there. NO ONE WILL CARE. Well, except for that nasty little ego-voice.

Take time for you. Live a little. Being perfect only brings more stress and worry. We work ourselves into a tizzy to try to achieve something that does not even exist. It keeps us scared and unable to make decisions or take leaps of faith.

Have faith in yourself. Be loveable just as you are. If anyone thinks you “should” do something different or be different, tell them where to go…in a nice way of course.

Are you a recovering perfectionist? If so, please share below how you went into recovery! I would love to hear your tips.